Maintaining composure, shaping your character, and sustaining strong competence areas in today’s challenging environment can be daunting but not impossible if you follow a few fundamental principles. Here are six tips that can serve as a beginner’s guide to personal growth:

1: A Negative Workplace

Be cautious of a “cutthroat” environment where everyone is constantly striving to get ahead. In such a setting, unappreciative individuals often thrive, and hard work is neither acknowledged nor rewarded. In this environment, no one will appreciate your contributions, even if you skip meals and work late into the night. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, most of the time you will work hard without any support from those around you. This type of atmosphere can erode your self-esteem. It’s not just healthy competition; at its worst, it can be ruthless and highly damaging.

2: Other People’s Behavior

Naysayers, critics, meddlers, complainers, deceivers, backstabbers, people who play the victim, controllers, complainers, whiners, blow-ups, patronizers, slackers—call them what you will—they all share one common trait: an overriding desire to thrive at the expense of others. Avoid them and resist the temptation to join them. They may achieve short-term gains with their behavior, but deep down, most are very insecure, unhappy, and ashamed of their actions. For most of them, their self-esteem disappeared long ago. Seeing someone like this succeed is disheartening, but don’t stoop to their level; you are better than that!

3: A Changing Environment

In today’s fast-paced society, it is difficult, if not impossible, to avoid change. Changes challenge our beliefs, test our adaptability and resilience, and reshape the way we think. Changes can make your life difficult and may cause stress, but if they are inevitable, you must accept them, not fight them, and eventually find ways to improve your life. Try to manage change and avoid multiple changes at once. If a particular change cannot be avoided, embrace it. Change will always be with us; we must learn to live with it.

4: Past Experiences

We all carry “baggage”—past experiences that have shaped us into who we are today, but some people live in their past experiences, especially those that hurt and continue to sting. It’s okay to acknowledge pain when you experience it, but don’t let pain dominate your life, as it will transform itself into fears and anxieties. If something painful happens or has happened to you, learn to minimize its effects. Discuss it with a friend, a family member, or a professional if necessary, and move forward. Don’t let it continue to dominate your life and dictate your future actions. Just because something bad happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again. Extract whatever lessons you can from any negative experience and move forward.

5: Negative Outlook

Television news is filled with despair, and it’s true that there are many people suffering from war, famine, or other natural or man-made disasters around the world. While I don’t suggest you should not care and take action, remember that there are many beautiful and positive things happening as well. Don’t immerse yourself in all the negative aspects of the world. Learn to look for beauty as well, because, in building self-esteem, we must learn to stay positive in a negative world.

6: Determinism Theory

Are we solely the product of our inherited genetic traits (nature) or a result of the influences we absorb throughout our lives (nurture)? I believe that who we are is the result of a combination of both nurture and nature, and therefore, our behavioral characteristics are not fixed. While it is true that some things are determined by genetics (such as race, gender, and many inherited conditions), your environment and the people in your life have a significant impact on your behavior. You are your own person, you have your own identity, and you make your own choices. The traits your mother or father display are not your destiny. Learn from others’ experiences so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

Are some people born leaders or positive thinkers? I don’t think so. Being positive and staying positive are choices. Building self-esteem and drawing from positive experiences for personal development is a choice, not a rule or a skill. No one will come to you and grant you the opportunity to build your self-esteem and improve yourself. It is within your control.

Staying positive in your personal growth can be challenging, especially when others and circumstances seem to conspire to bring you down. You need to protect yourself and give yourself the chance to remain positive. One way to stay positive is to minimize your exposure to harmful influences while using affirmations to reinforce the positive influences in your life. Constantly remind yourself of the good things in your life to minimize the impact of negative influences.